fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
