You work out of a Hotel?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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