Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
