This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Randomize
