Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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