Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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