are you still at the devil's house?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
