well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
