That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
