dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
