I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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