question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize