He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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