There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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