so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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