Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
