It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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