sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
