Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize