they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
