I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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