Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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