So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
