Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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