I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
