Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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