Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do herpes really smell.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
