Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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