The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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