I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
