honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
