Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
