no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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