he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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