she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
