I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
