he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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