I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
