Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize