wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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