I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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