i wish starbucks made bloody marys
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
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I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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