But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
