I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.