every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?