theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.