I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.