At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
