my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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