Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize
