If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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