batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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