I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
