we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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