They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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