Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
