If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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