yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i love accidental penises.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
