you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I want a musical about memes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
