nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
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you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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