Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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